Revised Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Finn was tired. Bone weary and aching. But faced with a fan of cards held by an expectant nine year old, he managed a weak smile. Barely. Mac frowned at him and Finn looked at his card. Three of clubs. "Memorized." He told her with a solemn expression, tuning out Justin's voice in the background as the younger brother chatted with Mrs.Whittal.

Mac had him place the card on the top, then cut the deck three times without shuffling. Even her small movements were making his aches worsen. Uncomfortable, he shifted his weight in the bed, drawing a worried look from Mac as she pulled up the top card. "Here's your card."

Queen of diamonds. "Yep." Finn acknowledged.

Mac sighed and shook her head. "No it's not!" She hissed, clearly displeased with him.

Finn sent the nine-year old a reassuring smile which he hoped looked normal enough. Her light blue eyes narrowed on him warily. On his other side, Sousa stirred in her uncomfortable looking chair. "Do it right." The older sister yawned.

"Sorry. No, that's not my card."

Mac nodded and put the card back on the top of the deck, tapped it twice and discarded it on the bedside table in front of her, face down. "Not that one. Maybe it's this one?" She turned over the next top card.

"No." Finn frowned, looking at a five of hearts.

"Are you sure it's not that one?" Mac pointed to the first card on the table, the one she'd originally discarded, still face down.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Finn smiled wanly. He turned it over, and surprise! The queen of diamonds was no longer there, now it really was his card. "Nice one."

Justin laughed from his seat by the far wall. "I know how she did that."

Mac shot the fourteen year old a sour look. Justin grinned back at her from where he was lounging with one foot dangling off the arm rest of the not very comfortable looking chair. "Do not." The younger girl barely kept from sticking out her tongue at him.

"Children." Mrs. Whittal smiled at all four of them evenly, missing the undercurrents of childhood dominance displays. She wasn't seated, there not being enough chairs. Sousa had offered her mother her seat and had been refused. Justin hadn't bothered to offer.

Justin stopped talking, pretending to be contrite. To Sousa, Finn and Mac it was obvious that the young teen was weighing the possibilities, whether or not to back off. Please the adult and be bored, or score a point by revealing workings of the supposed magic trick. "Sorry." He finally answered, his tone sincere sounding, but his eyes cold. Apparently there wasn't enough entertainment value in revealing the sleight of hand.

Mrs. Whittal nodded absently, looking at the older of the brothers. "Are you alright? Do you need me to call the nurse back in here?"

Justin's lips tightened at the shift in focus. He'd been telling an amusing story about something he'd seen at school, and he wasn't used to the attention leaving him before he was ready to relinquish it to someone else.

"Finn already had something for pain, I don't think he can have any again for a while." Justin actually managed to sound, and appear, concerned. "But I don't like how pale he looks right now."

The wounded teen knew not to fall for the anxious look in his younger brother's eyes. He accepted that it wasn't real, still, Justin was so good at his act that even Finn let himself hope from time to time. "I'm fine." He managed gruffly, letting his over-long hair slide forward to hide his face a bit.

Mrs. Whittal looked Finn over and clucked her tongue gently. "We should leave you to rest and not wear you out so much. Girls?"

Mac's hand went to Finn's in the bed, clearly not ready to leave yet. "Not yet!"

"No, really, I'm fine." The teen repeated, not wanting to be left alone. Worse would be to be left in the company of his younger sibling. He was just too tired to deal with the baby sociopath right now. "Let Justin tell you the story about the guy arguing over the three cent coupon for eggs at the store the other day. It really was hilarious."

Mrs. Whittal's fingers twitched lightly on her purse strap as she frowned. "The man was probably in real need, you shouldn't make fun of him for wanting to save any money he could."

Justin laughed outright, nearly doubling over in the uncomfortable visitor's chair. He waved his hands at the woman as her frown sharpened.

Finn's lips even twitched. "He was wearing a suit that cost more than my hospital bill probably will."

"Oh." Mrs. Whital's eyes widened and Mac giggled.

"That'll be Finn in a few years." Justin smiled easily, shaking his head. "My brother never spends a dime. Now that's a great magic trick, not some silly card trick. Give him any money? You never see it again."

Mac stiffened. "My tricks aren't silly. Just because you think you know, you don't! You can't figure them out."

"Mac!" Mrs. Whittal's tone was a scold all in itself.

The older teen stilled, ignoring the byplay. He didn't like talking about money. And he really didn't want Justin to start wondering how much he had, or where he kept it hidden. So far, the youthful sociopath hadn't shown any interest in taking that from him. And he wanted to keep it that way. Quickly, he changed the subject. "Where are Deann and Roger?" He asked, his voice sounding weaker than he would have liked.

Justin gave a light snort of disgust. "She's talking to the DSS dragon woman and a cop. Roger is doing paperwork, again."

"You haven't seen them yet?" Mrs. Whittal's voice showed she was clearly surprised, and also clearly disapproving as she looked at her watch. "Not since you woke up today?"

Finn shrugged lightly, to show he didn't care. Which wasn't the full truth. He glanced over at Mac and then back at the girl's adopted mother. The ache in his side grew worse as he eyed the small family. He loved Sousa and Mac. And he was glad they were in a good home, but sometimes jealousy wasn't very reasonable. What would his life have been like if he'd been adopted? If he hadn't had Justin almost literally tied to him? What would it be like to know you were wanted and loved? He rarely let his mind dwell on his and Justin's origin story, but sometimes he did wonder who had abandoned them. What it might of been like. However, Finn had seen enough of the other foster children in the system to know that down that particular road there were worse stories than theirs.

His dark eyes slid over toward his brother, who was beginning to look bored. Unease pricked him. A bored Justin was to be avoided at all times. Redirection was key. "Hey, bro. Think you can charm some cute nurse out of some hospital ice cream? You can call it Operation Delta Ice."

Finn's words were calm and almost disinterested. The trick was to get Justin's mind on something, anything other than causing trouble, and to make it look like he wasn't trying to distract him. This usually still worked like it had when they were both younger, though what amused his brother these days was turning darker and darker. He held his breath, but Justin didn't look upset. In fact, he seemed almost amused.

"Stupid title. Of course I can score something though." The younger teen flashed an engaging smile and bowed to the room before heading out to find a nurse. "The trick will be in finding the cutest nurse."

Mrs. Whittal pointed at the bed even as Justin left the room. "You have a call bell right there." She stood, shaking her head as she looked out the door, down the corridor. "He shouldn't be running around like that."

Sousa's expression soured as her lips tilted into a frown. "He's fourteen, mom."

Her mother's frown was worried as she absently pushed a strand of her reddish brown curls behind one ear. "Not after what he's been through, I'll just be a moment." She headed out into the hall after Justin, the click of her heels following her progress down the blandly tiled floor.

Once everyone had left the trio alone, Sousa turned her beautiful blue eyes on Finn. He drew back at the anger he saw on her face. "What HE'S been through?"

Mac laughed, her fingers plucking at the hospital blanket on the bed. Finn caught her hand to stop the small movements, frowning as he didn't like how weak he felt. At least Mac stopped though.

Sousa sighed deeply and shook her head. "Why in the world would you protect Justin?" She asked coldly. "He's a monster, and one with very bad tendencies. Not just a sociopath and you know it."

Finn flushed slightly, though he shook his head as if in denial. He stopped, wincing because it made his stomach protest. Apparently sitting perfectly still was his best option, he glanced up at Sousa and she was watching him expectantly. Swallowing hard he tried to concentrate on his memory of the robbery attempt again. "It was ...weird. I was behind him, and then I saw the gun. I don't know what happened, I just started feeling all hot and stuff. Energy running through me. I couldn't help it."

"Hot?" Sousa's face fell into a puzzled expression. "I thought you said you felt like you were turning to ice when you tried to talk about Justin to others?"

"This was different." Finn admitted uneasily as he skated around certain things in his retelling. "Just about the opposite." He deliberately didn't tell her what the cop had said about the man being actually burned. Nor did he tell her his suspicion that he'd had something to do with the large bird suddenly appearing inside a hospital room, and then disappearing just as quickly. Neither thing something he could explain to himself, much less to anyone else, even Sousa.

Mac laughed lightly. "Maybe it's magic." She teased as she tapped the top of her card deck, turning over the ace of spades. The nine-year old turned it over again, hiding the face and then once more to reveal ... a deuce of hearts.

The two older teens ignored the nine-year old as they talked. Mac was still into Disney movies, card tricks and books about teenage heroes, wizards, and adventurers. She only recently started expressing doubts about Santa Claus, even while admitting to her sister that she knew their mother was playing tooth fairy.

Sousa listened intently to his edited version of the story, her nostrils flaring as Finn described how instinct had taken over and how he'd pushed Justin out of harms way. She smiled though as he told her about the fourteen year old striking the refrigerated case. Then her smile slowly faded as she thought about it all. "Look, be careful of Justin the next few days." Sousa warned him, looking quite earnest.

Finn nodded. He'd already considered that. He even had a pretty bruise growing on his arm where Justin had yanked out his I.V. line. His arm started to itch under the bandage the nurse had applied.

"Keep it on track. Two years and you're gone." His friend pointed her finger at him. "Stick to the plan."

The plan. A plan he and she had harbored for years. Finn saved money and left at eighteen. Military service. He was big, he was strong. Gone. Sousa would hit college. She'd graduate as a veterinarian and he'd get out of the service. They'd live wherever Mac was going to school at the time. The details past that were fuzzy. Especially considering that Sousa and Finn weren't even really a couple. At least not a romantic one.

They were close. Closer than close, brought together by his need to survive and her utter hatred of Justin. An unnatural hatred that had sprung to life full-blown at her first sight of him. From those rather thin beginnings, they'd learned each other. Fell into a pattern so tightly woven they could almost read each other's thoughts, even at a very young age.

Then when the two were around seven, the Whittal's had adopted Mac. Baby Gweneth, as she was known then. A low birth weight baby girl whose mother had been addicted to drugs. Drugs that had been in the little girl's system from before she'd drawn her first breath. A tiny preemie whom no one was sure was even going to thrive. Sousa had taken one look and fell in love. Finn had been an unruly seven year old more interested in games and superheroes, but the sight of the undersized and constantly crying baby had torn at something in him.

Maybe it was projecting his own feelings of abandonment onto Mac, but he'd felt an instant need to protect. Transference. He had a whole vocabulary of therapy-speak. He went to see one often enough, state mandated and paid for, otherwise several of his foster families never would have bothered with the bi-monthly schedule.

As for baby Mac, Sousa had rocked the infant for hours on end, Finn sitting beside her and reading stories out loud. He'd told the Whittals he was 'practicing', but could never explain what he was practicing for. Justin had been Justin. In and out. Disinterested. And when his blue-green eyes had turned toward Mac, Finn had been there to distract him.

That had been when they'd been living at a different foster home though, one in the same neighborhood as the Whittal family. Thinking of the Tuckers though, depressed Finn and he forced himself to focus on the here and now, as well as much less painful memories.

He eyed the finger pointed at him, and reached out. Catching her hand in his own and turning it until their palms met, the fingers entwining. He looked sad.

"What?" Sousa pressed against his hand. He pressed back. Blue eyes looked into dark ones, skin pressed against skin. Her need to comfort met his need for more. She blinked first, turning away to straighten the blanket at the foot of his bed. "You cold?"

"I wasn't." He said vaguely, but something in his voice made Sousa flinch very slightly.

Mac's eyes shifted back and forth between the two older teens and she sighed. "Spill, Smithy." She deliberately used the nickname the two girls had for their friend.

Smithy. This time it was Finn who drew back slightly, not quite a flinch as a tightening around the mouth. Sousa had started calling him that nickname way back when they were first becoming friends because he was always so hot natured, almost radiating heat. Sort of like the fires in an old-fashioned blacksmith's barn, something the horse-mad young lady knew something about. Smithy. It had been a cheerful nickname just yesterday, something intimate shared between friends. But after what that cop had said about the gunman being burned, the nickname that had been so comfortable and fitting now worried him.

Shying away from that, Finn blurted out his other news. "The cop said that I went catatonic after coming out of surgery. They had to bring Justin in to get me to come around."

Mac's eyes widened with alarm as she chewed her lower lip.

Sousa scowled sharply, her earlier unease washing away under the weight of real concern. "I thought that you didn't do that anymore?"

"Me too." Finn bit out the words as if tasting something bitter.

Little Mac shook her head, her blond hair with it's tiny orange feathers swinging with the movement. "No. It's just the medicine they gave you." She put her hand on his arm, staring into his eyes with all the seriousness she could muster. Her little hand pushed his hair away from his eyes. "You're fine."

Finn felt helpless before the petite nine-year old's certainty. And he didn't want to let her down. "Okay."

Sousa opened her mouth to speak, when the door swung open. Huffy, she sent a look over her shoulder at Deann as the foster mom swept into the hospital room as if she owned it.

"There you are!"

"He's been here." Sousa spoke blandly, her face a mask of non-emotion. "Right here." Her meaning perfectly clear. "Wasn't sure where you were." She continued, under her breath though.

Deann frowned at the younger female, but turned her smile back onto Finn, ignoring the comments. "You've had us so worried! So close to dying! I just don't know how we would have been able to go on without you, so just don't even ask me!"

"I won't." The sixteen year old grimaced and then added that he was fine. Deann was looking at him, nodding, letting him answer. But Finn knew her mind was already elsewhere, she had that distracted look in her eyes.

"The doctors are keeping you here for at least another day, maybe two if there are any complications which I'm sure there won't be. Luckily we don't have to pay for this, Roger made sure." Deann smiled with her too-white teeth. Was it the grogginess of the anesthesia and/or the pain medication making her look like a predator on one of those nature shows?

The comment though had been heard as Mrs. Whittal entered right behind them with Justin at her side. "Roger wouldn't have to make sure of anything, not with the boys still in the system."

The system. Finn hated that term. Go to a pharmacy, tell them you're in the system. Flash a card and you don't have to pay, the state picks up the bill. Go shopping at the thrift store, let the clerk know the boys are 'in the system'. Discounts usually came your way. And praise. How wonderful Deann was for taking in foster children, especially teen boys! How marvelously giving she must be. How patient and kind. And how lucky the boys were to find such a great foster parent and they should be so grateful. Deann simply had to be an angel.

It made his stomach churn. Sometimes he wondered what people would say if he developed stomach ulcers. At sixteen. But so far, it hadn't happened. He was basically disgustingly healthy. No doctor's appointments other than yearly check-ups demanded by state mandate. He'd even managed to stay well when everyone else in the house had caught a bad cold several weeks ago. Justin had been miserably sick though. Not worse than Deann or Roger, really. But from the way he'd acted you would think he'd been dying. But even as the favored child, pampering someone just wasn't in Deann's nature. It was more of a 'go to your room until you're well' kind of attitude. She had brought home orange juice at least.

Neither Finn nor Justin knew what it was like to be pampered, cherished. The thought not being new, nor helpful, Finn pushed it away.

It wasn't a bad thing that the State took care of their needs. But Finn knew that he didn't really want to be taken care of, not like that. Finn wanted a family, one that would fuss just a bit over a sick child. A real family, and the state of North Carolina just wasn't what he had in mind. Sousa and Mac had it. His dark eyes slid over to Mrs. Whittal and then he dropped his gaze, ashamed. The Whittal's had taken in the girls and loved them, and not just for a check or for the praise of strangers and friends alike. Even after Mr. Whittal had passed two years ago from cancer, there had been no mention of giving up the girls 'for their own good'.

That had happened to Finn and Justin once. Their foster father had been diagnosed with something bad about his kidneys. Suddenly the boys were 'too much'. When had that been? They hadn't stayed with them long. Maybe the family after the Tuckers? Deann and Roger Jones had been next, keeping them for the past three years.

"Finn? Are you feeling okay? You look pale."

The teen looked up at the soft tone, finding Mrs. Whittal looking concerned. He swallowed hard, unable to answer as he nodded. She might not wholly approve of him, but she still cared more than most.

Deann smiled and gestured for Justin, who was eating chocolate ice cream. The younger boy handed a cup of vanilla to Finn. "Here. I got this for you."

"No, no." The boy's foster mother frowned as she took the cup from the younger boy. "I don't know if it's alright for Finn to have that after his surgery. We might have to check on that with the nurse. Justin, you'll just have to eat it, okay? I'm sorry."

Finn nodded. Deann might be scatterbrained and basically cold as a mother, but she wasn't overtly cruel. "That's okay." He didn't like vanilla much anyway. Which is why Justin had probably picked it out for him.

"Mrs. Tilmer wants to speak with you, Finn. She's already met with Justin. She'll be in soon, I think she's just going over discharge papers with Roger." Deann's smile was slightly stilted as she pushed her chin length hair behind her ear, the home done highlights looking almost like a racing stripe down the side of her head. "And we spoke with that policeman too. Awful man, asking so many questions about a bird. A bird? As if my baby hadn't just been shot."

Her baby. Huh. That one was new. After three years in her home suddenly now he was her baby? Cynically, Finn pushed the comment away, putting it down to Deann's need to appear wonderful in front of others. The cop, the doctors, and even Mrs. Whittal. Who knew? And he certainly wasn't worried about meeting with his social worker, Mrs. Tilmer wasn't a bad sort, just busy. And he liked that the older woman had a way of making Deann nervous. He stilled though, at the mention of the police detective. And the bird. "I didn't do anything wrong." He spoke quickly, his voice catching slightly.

"You mean besides skipping school? No, you didn't." Deann agreed, waving one hand as if dismissing the entire thought, ignoring the fact that she herself had sent Finn running off after Justin. "They're just stuck on the stupid cameras."

"Cameras?" Sousa asked, her own voice a bit thin.

Deann made a face and sighed helplessly. "The store had these cheap cameras and they quit working during the robbery. Kaput. Just went dark or something, some components actually melted. Cheap foreign work. Not like the phone Roger bought me last month."

"That's from a foreign company too." Justin smiled down into his ice cream cup, scraping out the final bits, his words droll.

Deann ignored him as she wasn't done yet. "And the robber had burns on his throat. Strangest thing. Real burns."

Burns. There was that word again. Detective Ryeman had mentioned them too. Finn looked over at Sousa, but she appeared confused. He was grateful that she didn't bring up what he'd told her about feeling all hot and full of energy. Mac leaned forward as if to speak, and Finn subtly moved his hand over to cover hers.

"Finn didn't do anything wrong." The nine-year old sounded sure, her small face set stubbornly, but bless her, she too was not speaking up about the unnatural heat he'd told them about.

The teen felt shaky, though he tried not to let it show on his face. What in the world was going on? "I don't know about the cameras." He said truthfully. "I was just trying to keep the guy from shooting again. I have no ideas about any burns. The man was wearing a mask."

Deann made a noise and looked over at Justin even as she answered the older teen. "I told him you didn't know anything." She said offhandedly as she addressed Justin, although Finn wasn't sure how she could be sure he didn't know anything. This was the first time she'd spoken with him since it had all started. "Are you about ready to go? I hope those discharge papers are all ready."

Sousa shook her head, pushing her dark curls behind her ears. "I thought Finn was staying a few more days?"

Mrs. Whittal nodded and gestured at Justin. "No, it's this one that's getting discharged today. They kept him overnight."

"For a cut?" Finn looked shocked, he stared at his grinning brother as the younger boy held up on fine-boned wrist, one sporting a hospital bracelet that hadn't been noticed before. "How bad did I hurt you?"

Justin's eyes went cold though his grin never faded. Finn stilled, not a good move.

"Badly." Mrs. Whittal corrected the grammar automatically, not noticing the glare in the younger teen's gaze.

Deann nodded, wrapping her arm around Justin's shoulders even though he was nearly her height already. "Poor darling. Finn, when you went into surgery your little brother started having convulsions. We were all so worried."

Finn felt his stomach rebel, and he swallowed quickly to keep from throwing up again. Convulsions?

Dark eyes met blue-green eyes. Justin and Finn. Brothers. The younger teen stared, the expression in his eyes beyond cold. As if all of Justin's troubles were caused by Finn.

Finn dropped his head slightly, letting his hair fall into his face again. It was a defensive gesture according to his therapist. Then again, why shouldn't he feel defensive? It only felt like his whole world had just been shredded. He'd never told Justin about how he'd go 'cold' when trying to tell anyone about him. He didn't need his brother to know that Finn not only wouldn't rat him out, but literally couldn't.

But for the first time in their lives, Finn considered that there were things Justin was keeping from him. Did Justin ever go ice cold? Yeah, as very young children Justin would scream unceasingly when separated from Finn, but was there more to it? Convulsions? This was new too.

Sousa's hand shifted on the hospital bed, her pinky finger touching his. A bare brush of contact. Finn bit back a groan.

The plan.

The plan that he and Sousa and Mac had talked about forever? It wouldn't work if Finn and Justin couldn't be separated. The sixteen year old had known about this problem, of course. He'd been dealing with it his entire life. But he'd hoped, nearly prayed, that the issue would resolve with age. It seemed plausible. Small separations that hadn't even been possible when they'd been much younger where now commonplace. They had even managed going to separate schools as their ages naturally separated them by grade.

Now though, now it all felt like it was turning to ashes around him. Finn wondered, but couldn't bring himself to ask, when had Justin gone into convulsions? Was it with he and Finn being apart? Or had it been when he'd been put under for surgery?

Whatever it was. It didn't bode well. Not for either of them.